Jesus wants us to forgive others like He forgives us, but when we can't forgive those who have hurt us to the core, what does He say?

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. Colossians 4:12-13

Jesus wants us to forgive others like He forgives us, but when we can't forgive those who have hurt us to the core, what does He say?

Jesus wants us to forgive others, but what about when someone has done something so horrendous that defies explanation? 

In Matthew 5:43-46 Jesus says: You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hat you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 

I've had to be prayerful on this one for a loooooong time, because there are some who are very difficult to forget. What I got from a book I read on forgiveness is that as long as we don't forgive the person, their actions continue to hurt us and haunt us. It's like those terrible things take up space in our hearts. When we forgive that person, it frees us from that hatred and opens up our hearts to feel Jesus' healing touch in our lives.

I read somewhere that when you forgive the person, you are not condoning their actions that have caused you all this pain. It took me lots of prayerful contemplation, but I've found that when I say a prayer similar to this, it frees me up from the pain of the past. 

Dear Jesus, I forgive ____ who did ________, although I don't condone their actions. When I don't forgive them, I'm not being an example of how You work in my life. I know you want to free my heart of this pain and I pray that you make me willing to forgive them and to turn this all over to Your very capable hands if it is your will. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

I thought that many of those situations would come back up over and over again in my mind as they used to, but they haven't. On the rare occasion that it pops in my mind, it isn't so devastating, because those actions no longer have power over me and my heart, Jesus does!